December 31, 2013

Proudly Introducing our Much-Loved Fourth Child

We are so happy and proud and excited to introduce our fourth child and our third treasured son...

Luke Honor 

Luke means light or light-bringer and he has certainly been that in a very dark year. And Honor is, Lord willing, a picture of his life to come - an honorable man who honors the Lord.

We have known for quite some time that we're expecting another little boy but have held off on announcing it for a few reasons.

One, we wanted to choose his name. We take naming our children very seriously. We do not do trendy. We want our children's names to have tremendous significance for who we hope they become and what we want them to know about themselves and about God.

Two, we wanted to wait until our major ultrasound and confirm that everything looked as it should. This is right about the pregnancy stage that Grace's heart defect was discovered and identified and I wanted to see with my own eyes that his heart was perfect. And it is, thank the Lord. As is everything else. I'm not naive enough anymore to think that's a guarantee for a perfect baby at the end but it still does our hearts good to see it.

And third, I feel incredibly protective of this sweet baby in my belly. The thought that anyone would be disappointed or sad that he's "another boy" makes my heart ache and my anger and protectiveness immediately rise. We are not disappointed in Luke that he's another boy. We already have a deep, deep love for him and cannot wait for the day when we meet him face to face.

So it is with great joy and great anticipation that we introduce our Luke Honor. You are loved, sweet boy.

December 20, 2013

The Story Behind the Photo

I posted this picture to Facebook yesterday and I was shocked at how many people responded to it. I mean I thought it was hilarious but I guess I've seen it so often I forgot what that feeling is like to witness it for the first time.

So, the story behind the Asher face.

Asher has this fake laugh he started doing a while ago. He scrunches up his face, puts his head back, and pushes out his double chin (which that part doesn't actually take much effort at all). It is seriously the funniest face I have ever seen a child make. Every time he does it, even if he was previously in trouble, it makes me laugh out loud. One time we were out to eat and I was a Fussy McFusserpants for some reason or another, and was not speaking to my children or husband and Asher made this face and I burst out laughing and it changed the whole mood.

I have also literally been laying in bed almost asleep and a picture of it will cross my mind and I'll burst out laughing and not be able to stop.

We have never been able to get him to do it on command because I've wanted a picture of it for forever and especially before he stopped doing it, so the fact that I happened to capture one yesterday pretty much completed my entire life.

Here is the photo I posted to Facebook and then another one that I captured just before.

I seriously cannot tell you how happy I am that I was able to capture this on camera before he stopped doing it. It's never not funny to me. Never. Not funny. 

Here are a few others that I got of them that I didn't post to Facebook. 

Getting ready to head out for our shoot and I was trying to keep them as put together for as long as possible.

Scopin' out our first location.

Ok, this one I already posted but seriously. Right?

Poor babies. They were so cold but never put up a big fight; they had great attitudes.

I have been in love with these eyes and this boy all his life.

Little blurry but it kills me.

Maybe it's because I'm their mother and I know them so well but I feel like you can get a glimpse of their personalities and their differences from these pictures. Maybe?

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy Friday!

December 10, 2013

When Your Soul is Tired of Being Bared, You Take a Break

A couple cute pictures (please ignore my ridiculous bad quality phone pictures, my I-phone hates me) to make up for my bloggy silence. 

Do you die? Yes you do.

I'll give you guys FIVE crackers if you stand still. But you have to stand still. No crackers if you don't stand still. Just one good picture. Please! Micah, no. Nope. Asher, seriously. If you don't stand still, no crackers.

I've started and erased posts a thousand times the last week. I can't seem to know what I want to write about since I've taken my social media hiatus. A few weeks ago I could not escape the conviction that God was wanting me to take a step back. It was timely too because my soul was needing a break from the constant baring and my mind was needing a break from the constant consuming. Sometimes life just needs to be simple for awhile.

I'm back to an extent. I still don't scroll through Facebook, except for the few posts at the top and only sometimes. I'm mostly on there to keep in touch with my Bible study group. I had taken a break from reading blogs as well but I'm back to reading those.

It felt good to step back. It felt good to live life in real life. We went to Chuck E. Cheese in Spokane the weekend after Thanksgiving and at one point it hit me that I wasn't stopping everything I was doing to photo-document it for the world to see. It was freeing. (Not that I'm against that and I'll probably document from time to time in the future; I just noticed that I wasn't compelled to anymore.)

So anyways, now that I'm back I'm not quite sure what to write about.

I'm feeling much better morning-sickness wise. Sometimes I have a little lingering left but for the most part it's gone, thank you Jesus. I'm also learning that being pregnant after a stillbirth is complicated. When I found out I was pregnant with this little one I was over the moon excited. But when you're pregnant so soon after a loss the thought eventually hits you that you wouldn't have this child if you hadn't lost your previous one and then you don't know how to feel about that. Because honestly I would rather have Grace in my arms than be pregnant again right now. But then that means I wouldn't have this child in my belly. And I want this child in my belly. I want both. But I can't have both. Which can be incredibly infuriating. So I swung (swing) back and forth between happiness for this child and just wanting Grace back.

The busy season is wrapping up for us around here. I have one week left in both studies that I'm in and Matt has less than two weeks left of school. This has been his hardest semester yet and he's feeling every single bit of it. I just want to stop and think about the fact that my husband works full-time and is in an incredibly demanding full-time medical graduate program and he's still totally present with the boys and I. Amazing. But it also means that he makes big sacrifices with everything else; it doesn't come at a small cost.

Our pastor made a comment this Sunday that reminds me of this season in particular - Do what God has given you the grace to do. (Something like that.) It's true. God has opened the doors to Matt's schooling all along the way the last several years and he's continually given him the grace and ability he needs to complete every term and to do it well. So super duper thankful for that and super duper snooper pooper scooper thankful for my husband.

And now some pictures to make up for my absence.

A little snuggly-buggly cartoon-watching action.

I finished this book in a day and a half. I was basically unfit for parenting while I was reading it.

Not good quality but I could die. The clasped hands. Stop it.

Yes, yes, and double yes. Do not think too deeply about the amount of sugar in this drink.

Gave myself a black eye, thanks to early morning chatter in the boys' room. Note to self: doors are still present even if you can't see them.

My sister-in-law got these for us and I think it's not unsafe to say that I'm a better person now.

Ahhh, this feels good. I've missed all of you.