January 17, 2013

10 Things to Know About Toddlerdom

This is the face of a certain little boy shortly after I discovered him baptizing his daddy's toothbrush. In the toilet.

Which is exactly what I discovered this little boy doing today.

This leads me to some very serious conclusions that I must share for the safety and sanity of all involved.

10 Things to Know About Toddlerdom

1. Screaming is a language.

And we're fluent. Ask mom's eardrums.

2. Throwing food at high rates of speed is never not funny.

Even when mom has been reduced to a crazed look in her eye at having said the same thing a thousand times. In the past five minutes. It's always funny.

3. Mom's toothbrush is for scrubbing toilets.

If it weren't, then why does it have bristles?

4. Screaming in anger at the top of your lungs repeatedly at a dinner party is always the right thing to do.

It will get mom's attention every time. Thus, it's effective.

5. Bathtubs are for pooping.

You thought it was diapers. You were wrong.

6. The only toy in the car that will suffice, thus ending the screaming, is the one directly behind and under mom's seat.

Too bad, so sad.

7. Dining chairs are for summitting the highest surface in the house. Followed by break-dancing.

Or at least that's what mom sees from across the room.

8. What's mine is MINE! What's yours is MINE! What's his is MINE!

You get the picture.

9. Walk-running as fast as you can away from mom in public places is always the safe and right thing to do.

This never makes mom mad.

And, finally.

10. I am always adorable.

I will always break your heart with my smile and laugh and you will wonder a thousand times a day how it's possible to love a fluffy bundle of goodness so much it hurts.

May you be ever so enlightened.

*Created and originally posted by Sara McNutt*

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