Before one more second passes, I need to stare at this picture until the end of eternity. Ok, I feel better now.
On Christmas Eve we went to church with my parents and some friends. I always love the candlelight and songs and stories. We had to leave early because the boys' patience had worn out but they did great for a pretty good chunk of it. Afterwards we drove around and looked at Christmas lights. Actually, right afterwards we made an emergency trip to McDonald's because sudden hunger overtook me and within 17 seconds we were at Defcon 5 Emergency Levels. And then we drove around and looked at Christmas lights.
Christmas Day morning was fun as it was the boys first time getting into the spirit of opening presents. At least it was for Micah. Asher had a confused look on his face all morning but he did enjoy his new toys.
I made my very first ever homemade cinnamon rolls. This recipe. Oh my sugary heart ventricles, the happiness was deep.
The rest of the day was slow and easy. I was feeling sick for most of the day but I made myself get out and go sledding with the boys and I'm so glad I did, we had such a blast. Especially my shining mama moment in which I left Asher unattended in the baby sled and he face-planted into the snow. Awesome.
My parents had to work so they came later for a chili dinner. We ate, visited, played with the boys and their new toys, and then called it a day. To be honest, I was glad the day was over.
We'd been heavy-hearted for days over some things and so I was glad to just be past the day and moving on to a new year. The weekend before Matt and I sat on the couch after the boys bedtime and reminisced about the previous year while I intermittently laughed and cried.
I had been reading through 1st Thessalonians last week and it struck me (again) how highly valued people were to each other in the New Testament writings. For example the part that stood out to me this time is from 3:6-7. Paul and the others were comforted by Timothy by hearing of the Thessalonians' faith and longing to see Paul again. And so many places elsewhere, their comfort came from people. One of the names for the Holy Spirit is comforter and yet God has also designed the body of Christ to be a comfort to one another, to comfort one another, to be the source of comfort God intended for a certain person.
As we talked, I was reminded again the importance and value of authentic relationship, and to pursue it even when past experiences make me want to close my heart forever.
And today as I sat with a friend over coffee and chattering children and I shared my heart, tear-filled eyes and all, I was comforted.
People and authentic relationship are worth the risk. Jesus thought so. Why shouldn't I?