This moment both boys are sleeping and for that I'm deeply grateful. For nearly a week now at 7:33 every night I have great expectations.
The boys have been put to bed for the night, the house is picked up, and there's nothing very important that I must get done. I get my computer and settle in and catch up on different things I keep up with. I remind myself (very firmly) that tonight, tonight, I am going to bed early. I'm tired and I'm tired of dragging through part of the day because I stayed up too late the night before.
The evening passes on. Matt and I converse, catch up, connect, and I look at the clock again. 8:58. Perfect. It's not late yet which means I still have some time, but, I remind myself, I'm not going to bed late. I'm getting ready for bed by 9:30 and I will be asleep by 10.
I put on an episode of Downton Abbey. It's just past 9 and it's less than an hour long so I'll still have time to wash my face and brush my teeth and be asleep before 10.
Before long 10 has come but I'm not that tired so I watch one more episode. I have to know what happens to Misterrr Bay-tes (English accent). (Incidentally, every night I've watched Downton Abbey I've fallen asleep praying with an English accent and for the life of me I can't drop it.)
Repeat this times 5 or 6 and today at this moment as both boys are sleeping you can understand why I am deeply grateful. It's not them, it's me. I don't have any spare brain cells to answer any superfluous questions, even if they have to do with undies and potty. It may be a basic human exercise but today it's superfluous.
You have to understand, I am not a night owl. I am a morning person far and away over being a night owl. Most of the time by 10 o' clock, I've had it for the day and my bed is the only worthy destination on the radar. But for some reason the last week I've hit a second wind around 9:30 and it doesn't leave my sails until about midnight.
Thankfully I finished the second season of Downton Abbey last night so I'm home free. Or at least until I figure out if I can watch Season 3 online even though it's just started.
The extra tiredness has produced extra deep breaths and under-the-breath prayers for extra grace, please Lord, and more patience, and extra grace and even more patience, thank you, Lord.
Even still I'm so thankful the Lord has created my eyes with a high-zoom lens fixed on the beauty that exists in my sons, inside and out. Sometimes as Micah stands, face uplifted, talking to me, or Asher sits in my lap, profile turned towards me, I can hardly believe how beautiful they are.
So today I'm thankful for my sons, the God Who made them, and naptime.
And they're not mutually exclusive.
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