March 22, 2012

Something You Need to Know

Ok. So I thought if we are going to get to know one another like this, there are some things you need to know. Full disclosure.

(Be kind.)

I have a mouse in my garage as we speak. I opened the garage door, it ran in, I screamed, Micah screamed a sympathy-scream, and now my life foundations are crumbly. If you call and I fail to answer, call 911. I'm most likely passed out on the garage floor.

I cannot use pens that are missing their cap. I simply cannot. Their incompleteness harms my fragile sense of wholeness.

I killed a spider the size of my pinky nail yesterday using approximately 22 wadded up paper towels and I still had a near-nervous breakdown.

I am a Recovering Baby-Wiser. (Don't hate.)

Cuddling in bed is punishable by death. I can cuddle you but please for the love don't cuddle me. This has caused what's commonly referred to as Marital Strife.

I know all parents think their child is truly the smartest, cutest child to ever exist. But I don't think I'm wrong and I don't think I'm biased. Right?

Stubbed toes are always funny. They're never not funny. (Unless of course it involves my toes and then it also involves Christian Cursing.)

I have to be even. I have to. If I'm rinsing something off and I get one hand wet, I have to get the other one wet too.

I also have to always put my left sock and shoe on first, and if for some ridiculous reason I accidentally put the right one on first, I have to take it off and start over. (I'm heart-attack serious.)

Lastly.

The way to my heart is Hilarity and Sweets. If you're not funny, take heart. Anyone can follow a recipe, yes?

In the spirit of Mutual Disclosure, what are some things I should know about you?

9 comments:

  1. As I read these...I can imagine you killing over in the garage from seeing the mouse, Matt waking up in the middle of the night and stubbing his toe on the bed or suitcase while you are giggling as he is "christian cursing" in pain and your absolute, paralyzing fear of spiders. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

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  2. I can't go to sleep if the closet door is open or my dresser has any drawers that are not closed....I will immediately get up and close them all. The entire house is considered a disaster if there are dishes in the sink and my bed is not made...ridiculous, I know! The dishwasher has to be loaded a certain way or I will take things out and do it over...hand washed dishes have to be washed in a particular way as well. Laundry also has to be washed with the whites being the last load with hot water and bleach so that I feel the washer is now cleaner...UGH...writing these down make me feel a little crazier.

    Gloria

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  3. You're hilarious Sara! I have no fear of spiders or creepy crawlies but if you sic a butterfly or moth on me I might cry. :)

    Also I used to not eat anything purple. This is mostly true but I no longer pick out the purple fruity pebbles. Yes, I once sifted through a whole box of fruity pebbles and picked out every single purple one!

    :)

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    1. Well to be honest...... When i write something i go crazy with explanation points. If i start it is hard for me to stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if my mom tells me i cannot i have a melt down and start crying. Waves of panic engulf me. Leaving me at her feet begging for that one little line and pinsize dot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dead seriousness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    2. Randylynn, you're so funny! And weird, it's one of your best qualities! :)

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  4. LOL--you forgot that one--it drives you crazy!!!!! Oh Sara--that was just toooooo funny. i sympathize with you about the mouse and spider--I probably could not have gotten out of the car. But the shoe thing---thats a new one! I actually cant think of any obsessions I have but I am sure Matt and Stacy could come up with some! I think the biggest thing for me is I need change--sameness makes me crazy.

    Still laughing
    Linda

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    1. I was terrified to go into the garage for a while but I think I'm over it now, until I see him again! I'm sure we could find some quirks that you have!

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  5. Oh Sara thank you for making me healthy with all the laughs you give me! Seriously, I love reading your blog!

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    1. Laura, you're so funny (and encouraging)! This blogging thing is fun, who knew?! :)

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