March 21, 2012

A Do-Over

Do you ever have those days where you crawl into bed at the end of it and think, I'll take A Do-Over for $500, please? 

I had one of those today. (And yesterday.)

All the things I did wrong run through my head like one of Micah's Veggie Tales songs that I can't get out of my head, for the love of everything good and right in this world

I spent too much time on the computer. 

I didn't stop what I was doing and look Micah in the eye when he was talking to me. 

I sighed loudly and frustratedly when Asher cried for me again.

I said Dang it! when I dropped that thing for the five majillionth time, and Micah heard me and repeated it.

I shoved Cyrus off of me when he was just trying to snuggle.

(That's our cat, FYI. I'm not a total jerk.)

I got irritated at Matt for no good reason other than I was tired. 

I turned the radio up as loud as we could handle it just because I didn't want to answer the same question one more time. (Mommy, hom? No, baby, we're going shopping. Mommy - Nana, Papa? No, baby, they're working. Mommy, hom?)

(Just go ahead and repeat the above conversation 4,792 times and you're 1/5,000th of the way to reality.)

I was snappy and irritable all day. We were headed to town and as I was driving I was talking to the Lord. I was telling him my frustrations and why I was frustrated. As he so kindly does, he showed me where I needed to ask for forgiveness, and at that moment I needed to start with my son. So I angled the mirror and I said, Hey baby, Mama's been impatient and rude today and I'm sorry. That's not right and I'm sorry for being like that. Do you forgive me? 

He gave me his big smile and sideways glance and I knew all was forgiven. 

He also wasted no time in confirming yet again that we were in fact not going home and yes, Nana and Papa were working, and yes, Daddy was also working, and no we were not going home. Lather, rinse, repeat.

*sigh*

These days happen. They just do. Maybe not for everybody, but they do for me. But I'm believing a lie if I think that's just the way it is and oh well. I need to make it right where I've been wrong. If I've been rude to Micah, I need to ask his forgiveness. Naturally I may be impatient and irritable, but God's Word tells me I've been made new. So tomorrow morning, by faith, we do it again. And somehow, little by little, God transforms this sinful but redeemed girl into his likeness, from glory to glory, in his Spirit. Amen. 

6 comments:

  1. Oh my--You. Are. Human! Give yourself a break and realize we all do that at some point. What a blessing that you realize it in the same 24 hour period and ask for forgiveness! If you didnt have those days you wouldnt appreciate the others as much as you do. Be happy you are not the same all the time----sometmes we have days like that so we can be humbled and remember that do overs are OK. Besides if you never had one of those days wouldnt that make you "that girl" and none of us want that!

    Love ya
    Linda

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    1. I always love you and your comments! Yes, I am the most human of all humans I think. :) Away with That Girl!!

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  2. Amen Sister! Unfortunately that describes me the majority of days. I do much better when I hold onto the perspective that I am living for God, not my kid. So when he's having a bad day, it doesn't affect mine. It also makes me more calm and patient--which makes me a better mom.

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    1. Wendy! So good to hear from you! I think we get so stuck on the negative things we do that we forget the good things that happened too. I have to remember those too! I know you're a great mama, 100%!

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  3. We all have bad days....You're teaching your boys good things though! Being able to admit your are wrong and asking for forgiveness is a lot harder than you would think! I was home with Daniel this week for 2 days while he was sick....let me just say staying at home is much harder than going to work some days and being patient all the time just isn't going to happen. Being able to turn it for good and use it as a lesson to yourself and the kiddos is a good thing!

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    1. Hey Jess, you're absolutely right, those bad days definitely come! I think staying at home and working are both hard, just in different ways. I appreciate your comments!

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