February 14, 2012


About a month or so ago it suddenly hit me how much I missed quality time with my big little boy. So since then we've become very intentional about taking Micah out for one-on-one dates. These have seriously become some of my favorite times. Most of the time we'll go get U-Swirl (don't judge) and then head to the mall so he can play on the slide. I can't wait for summer so we can go to real parks, but I'll take what I can get. Micah loves these times and thrives in that environment of focused attention (as all kids do, I'm sure). I often find that the things we struggle with when we're all together completely disappear when it's just him and I. (Matt has said the same.)

It's so neat to see his and Matt's relationship. I've seriously never seen anything like it. I often wonder if it's normal and I've just never been privy to something like it or if they really do have something special and different. I'm thinking they really do have something special and different. One night after they came home from their "man-time" Micah came strutting in like he was the coolest guy on the block. It was so sweet and funny to see. I'm pretty much chopped liver when Matt's around, which is ok with me. I wouldn't change their relationship for the world.

Micah loves to be big like us. He loves to be able to copy what we do and we try to let him as much as realistically possible. He loves being helpful and always looks so pleased when we show appreciation for him helping, like when he throws things in the "twash" or fills the kitty's food bowl up (including replacing the lid) or runs hurriedly to get a burp rag to wipe his brother's mouth after he spit up.

We try to give him independence while also teaching him that we still have the final word (as much as he'd like it to be different). I often pray for wisdom and that the Lord would help me to see now the things that I would regret in 5, 10, 15 years. And I also pray for wisdom as we discipline him and raise him in the way he should go according to his uniqueness. Sometimes it could go one of two ways - for example, he could go to time out until he stops crying and being upset or, at that moment God gives me a moment of insight into his tender heart and as I stare into his tear-stained face I realize it's not a moment that needs discipline but one in which he needs to be scooped close and held tight and affirmed again how much he's loved. I love when God opens my eyes at the right time to what he needs right at that moment. It doesn't always happen but I'm thankful for when it does.

I've often thought since having kids how much I appreciate the depth of relationship and authenticity that Matt brings into our family. As people-y as I am, when it comes to difficult things, 99.8% of the time I internalize (I hate that about myself). I want a family that's close and open and can talk about anything, and so I so appreciate how easy that is for Matt and that I can lean on him and take his lead when I'm not naturally good at it. I love how that works.

I can't believe Asher is almost six months old. I really feel like we lost a few months in there. Somewhere between November and January we experienced a time warp. Something. He's officially a blondie. I trimmed his hair today and most of the dark came off (not intentionally). I was so hoping he would have Matt's dark hair but it looks like for the time being he's following in his big brother's footsteps. Last night was his first time trying solids. I smashed up part of a banana but we only managed to get down a few bites. Tonight I mixed it with breastmilk and warmed it some and he devoured it. I think we're getting somewehere. I'd like to try pears, avocados, and sweet potatoes next.

I'm one week away from my last day at work and now that the decision has been made, I can't wait for it to get here. Well, that's that. Keepin' it real.

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