October 23, 2009

Thankful Thursday (except it's Friday)

Today I'm thankful for...

...the wonderful visit I had with a new friend tonight.

...that I'm finally getting the details of my maternity leave worked out, and that I may get to start it December 20th (oh please, please, please, please, please!!!).

...that our sink is finally fixed and working and I don't have to get water out of the bathroom sink anymore (doesn't that just seem gross for some reason?).

...that my kitty is very forgiving, after I yelled at him and spanked him for scratching our brand new crib by trying to jump into it (I could kill him all over again just thinking about it...).

...for my new non-stick skillet, perfect for making omelets.

...for the pumpkin carving contest tomorrow at Chris and Gloria's, and the chance to hang out with tons of people!

...for fall.

...for the upcoming holiday season.

...for the Lord and how gracious and kind and forgiving and loving He is.

...for my husband. I'm so proud of him and how well he's doing in school. He's doing a great job balancing marriage, life, school, and work.

Hope you have a great weekend ahead of you!

October 17, 2009

Failure

Can anybody relate to having negative patience levels whilst with child?

I came across this verse a couple nights ago "accidentally." Actually, I'm pretty sure the Lord wanted me to bury my head very, very deeply in it.

"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged..." - 2nd Tim. 2:24.

Hey, let's talk about the antonyms of those words, as clearly expressed in my workplace. By me.

*sigh*

I am not a failure, in terms of identity. But I have failed quite a bit lately.

Oh, thank the Lord for His mercy. But I also do not take lightly His discipline.

On a more encouraging note, Matt and I will be registering at Target today for our little Peanut. That'll be fun. Anything to do with Matt is fun. And anything to do with our new baby boy is exciting.

You know, when I first got pregnant, we were absolutely, 100% convinced that we were having a girl. As was everyone else. And I wanted a girl. To be honest, I didn't want a boy. I just really felt like I was connecting with the baby as a girl, and a boy felt so wrong.

About two days before our discovery ultrasound, I had a total shift of mind, and I told Matt concretely, "We're having a boy. I just know it." We even bet on it because Matt was still convinced he was a girl.

(I won a very mediocre foot massage.)

I don't know what changed, but two days later, approximately 5 seconds into the ultrasound, hello, we were clearly having a boy.

And now? I couldn't imagine having anyone else except exactly this little boy. I love him so much and I wouldn't want anyone different. To think of him being a girl makes me so incredibly sad because he's not. And I only want what he is. I'm in love with him and only him. Make sense?

Okay, my husband's amazing. He called just now and said, "Hey, the weather's so nice right now, do you want to go garage-saling when I come home?" He speaks my love language. I just love him.

October 09, 2009

I confess, I'm judgmental

So today after work, I stopped at Wal-Mart (may the Lord cause His face to shine upon me) to pick up a few things in preparation for my Olive Garden-themed dinner party tomorrow night.

(Side note: I did not actually get anything that I had on my list for the party, but I still managed to spend $40.14. How does that happen??)

Anyway, as I was about finished shopping, I looked down into my cart and thought to myself how not full of great and/or healthy stuff it was. Frozen pizza. Ramen noodles (yum). Frozen ravioli (I put that one back). Cheap chicken. It just struck me that for some reason this shopping trip was not yielding my normally health-conscious choices. And I use the word "health" rather loosely. A more expensive brand of ice cream falls under that category. I've never had a good grasp on that sort of thing. I was shocked to learn, as an adult, that ice cream is actually not very good for you. Literally. I was.

So. As I was checking out, I was scoping out the man's stuff behind me that he was purchasing. About a million boxes of frozen Totino pizza. Another million boxes of every conceivable type of frozen meals you can imagine. Beer.White bread. Seriously, who buys white bread? And my first thought was that I felt sorry for him, he was probably single and needed something easy for dinner every night. But my next stronger thought was, "Ugh. Doesn't he know how bad all that stuff is for him? White bread? He could at least get the higher quality frozen foods (that's what I do)."

Well, it struck me with quite a bit of irony that I had just literally been thinking about my poor food choices. Who was I? What was I thinking? My standards are so loose when it comes to my choices, but boy, oh boy, do I have strict standards when it comes to other people's choices. Kind of like that one story in the Bible when the "righteous" man thanked the Lord that he wasn't like the sinner next to him.

It's a small example, but it did serve to remind me that I'm pitifully blind to my own judgments without the probing of the Holy Spirit. Searching out what's really true at the core of my heart. It ain't always pretty, that's for sure.

October 02, 2009

I'm Feeling...

(I got the idea for this post from another blog post, and I feel the need to share that first, because I'm all about credit where credit is due...)

Today I'm feeling...

...Sick to death of canceled and delayed flights, and the nastiness that follows.

...Excited that Matt will be home in 2 1/2 hours, after being out of town for two days.

...Flippin' ticked off at something that I can't share the details about.

...Unsure of whether I want to cook dinner or just go out when Matt gets home. I have everything I need, mostly, for Olive Garden's Zuppa Tuscana soup, but I'm so not feeling like cooking right now.

...Thrilled that I get to feel my baby boy kick everyday.

...So glad that tomorrow's my Friday and I get off at 9am.

...Sad that we're back to the Dreary Days of Missoula. Come back sunshine!!

...Happy that we're back to the Dreary Days of Missoula, because it means we're that much closer to meeting our boy.

...Curious as to why our cat is obsessed with the new glider - he has literally taken up residence in it.

...Confused as to why some people experience such concentrated amounts of grief, and others seem to coast through life mostly unscathed.

...Like I could seriously, seriously use a Pumpkin Spice latte right now.

(Decaf of course).