May 07, 2009

A Preface to Thankful Thursday

Today is Thankful Thursday. I wish I could invite you into my heart and mind to see for yourself what the Lord has done this last week. But I can't, so I must preface what I'm thankful for with a short story.

I mentioned in my last post that I encountered grief in a concentrated amount several days ago. And since then, the story has literally consumed my thoughts. I think about it all the time. I pray like crazy for the ones affected, and I just wonder.

I've read that one of the hardest things about the grieving process is that life goes on. The pain is so intense that you feel like the world should just stop.

Can the world just stop moving for one moment and acknowledge my loss and my pain that's so intense I expect to die at any moment, and in fact, I WISH I WOULD!


That kind of grief.

One of the things that I mentioned before is that everything is so wrong about it. It's not the way life is supposed to go. And today, I think the Lord answered the wonderings in my heart through a song that I've loved for a long time, but did not have the significance before that it did today.

My eyes flooded with tears as I drove home.

I hope you listen to. every. single. word.

It was so timely that it could have only been the Lord's providence.
(In fact, I honestly don't think I've ever heard them play this song on the radio here.)

So today I'm thankful...

...for that.

...for my God. He is so good. So good. My heart soars with affection towards Him. I could weep at His love towards me. Thank You, my Lord.

1 comment:

  1. P-personal
    A-anguish
    I-internally
    N-numb

    The outward tears have come & dried. It's the inner tears that I feel I’m drowning in

    Every beat of my heart, every breath that I take, every cry that I hear, every sight that I see; pain is there. It’s as if the pain out beats my heart

    The “What If’s”, “If Only”, “If I”, “Why, Why, Why…”
    Haunts me day & night

    2 seconds, 2 minutes, 2 hours, 2 days, 2 months, 2 years, 200 hundred years. What does it matter?
    All I have are the past vivid memories, no present or future memories to make

    The inner screaming almost makes me deaf, if I hear one more time “They understand how I feel”,
    I don’t even understand it all

    My heart & arms grow callously numb, knowing I will never hold that cherished love one again!!

    But, please my sister wait. There is another whose arms have also grown numb, holding rust stained nails to a old wooden cross

    The weight of your pain, only He can bear. The tears in your heart, He’ll catch every drop. The silence that you hear, He is able to fill. With words whispered softly, He reaches to hold

    With this I leave you at the foot of the Cross. Through all the pain & anguish I pray that you would find. The tender & waiting arms of Jesus & inner healing that only He can bring.

    tg

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